There is no passion to be found in playing small..

in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living - Nelson Mandela

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So i finally got the balls up to write about my croatia experience. I was really hoping this wouldn’t become a massive recount of how to try and still have a life while dealing with anxiety but apparently there are some points where it becomes unavoidable. 

After I came back from Barcelona I was really unsure about whether or not I could get back out there. Coming back and having to deal with all my home real life shit set off my anxiety soooo badly and I wasn’t sure how well getting on a plane by myself with no plan and very little money would go when I couldn’t even keep my shit together well enough to cook myself a meal every day. 

Nevertheless, in true, well thought out Sarah style, I booked a flight back to Barcelona to try and get my connection to Venice to go to Croatia on the 1st. The flight was at like 7 in the morning so I got to the airport in the dark and it took about half an hour to periodically pysche myself up to get across the car park but I couldn’t make myself go in…

After that I kind of accepted that the whole travelling thing was probably over and I should sort my shit out and get a job until one day I had a sudden urge of inspiration and booked a flight to Venice on the same day I was meant to fly there from Barcelona..

As usual, life rewarded me for actually trying and it turned out to be the same flight that loads of people I knew where getting on and they were also getting the same connection from Venice to Outlook Festival in Pula, Croatia. So it was all happy daysssss…let’s go as a group :D

Createee your own reality famalamm!!!

Outlook festival might literally be paradise on earth - except the whole having to camp in 30 degree heat and security who want you to give them any excuse to take all your money thing. The site is in a thousands of year old fort with the stages set up in the ruins, the nearby harbour and the surrounding woodland areas. The festival’s opening concert is held in a Roman Amphitheatre in the centre of Pula itself and the actual festival site is right on a beautiful stretch of coastline looking out onto a group of islands that apparently belonged to General Tito in the good ol’ Yugoslavia days.. 

So yeah, some dream come true shit right there.

However, for the old, frail and jaded it was definitely a struggle. I spent like 50% of the festival throwing up or napping :P The general combination of poor quality intoxicants, shit (and for some reason ridiculously salty) food, sun and skanking, questionable water and 2 hour period between the music stopping and the tent becoming too hot where you could actually sleep didn’t go so well with my poor, broken stomach.

No amount of suffering could ruin the experience though. With tactical napping and eating tactics (and buying a lilo to sleep on because the bass made the floor shake too much) we still managed to have a sickkkkkk time: Reggae on the beach, Youngsta in the speaker-lined moat, Big Narstie & his freestyle about shit Croatian weed, Hip Hop on the main stage with the sound clarity of a tiny, basement bar, The Bug & Flowdan dropping ‘outlook city’…..

Outlook is the one.

Especially if you’re well into the soundsystem culture side. The festival works with literally every massive, legendary name in the business and the sound of the festival is perfectly designed. At no point do the stage’s bleed even though they are in sight of each other and the quality of everything is completely bang on every single time!!

GO. go go go. That is all I can recommend.  (if you do go and you’re broken like me I recommend going and renting a nearby apartment :P)

Unfortunately the post-Outlook plan didn’t go so well. I knew I wanted to go to Budapest but due to my anxiety driven indecision I failed to make any sort of plan until the day the festival ended. The journey from Pula to Budapest was a LOT more complicated than I had anticipated and took about 2 days, 4 coaches and a train and I was not on doing that by myself when I’m this panicky (booooo anxiety). I spend the day passing up options until it was too late and then I couldnt get in contact with the people I was meant to be staying with in Pula once we had to leave the site….


I spent the night after the festival waiting for public transport that I may or may not be able to get on/afford. I left the festival site, leaving my tent up and a tinnny bit of weed in the pocket incase I came back and needed an ‘oh my god I’m stuck in Croatia’ spliff, to try and get on a coach to Venice which was apparently full but there was a chance people wouldn’t show up. I figured once I got to Venice there’d be planes to the UK so it was all goooood. I got on the coach and after 2 hours of panic and stress in Venice airport I managed to again get on the same plane as my mates.

It sucks I’m not in Budapest. 

After spending years trying to stop making rash, impulsive decisions I think it’s time to let myself start making them again.

You only regret the things you don’t do.

At the moment I’m trying to get a house in Bristol and I mayyy go to Berlin next week :)

I’ll keep y’all updated..

Peaceeeeeeee out

Filed under croatia pula budapest berlin festival outlook festival hip hop bass grime dubstep drum and bass jungle reggae beach paradise travel holiday plane palm trees photography coast backpacking

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i really fucking hate my father. i go away and naively forget the reality of it and think he’s improved. then i get back and he proves for the infinite time that he is unarguably just a cunt. 

whiney tumblr rant